So as to avoid posting on that naughty day, I have made a second one today.
millennium 13. May also simply be that I am feeling agitated. Quite a good day, but weltangst tends to come in unpredictable waves.
I have got TikTok now, though not sure if I will ever use it: 15 seconds isn't long; even stitching up to 4 vids to make a minute's worth might be tricky; and my phone is rubbish - not good with it and it keeps telling me there is no storage. I have also joined a group on Facebook called 'Van Gogh Inspires.' My problem is that many of its 70,000 subscribers add soft, fluffy posts, or seem to miss what it was Vincent contributed to the world. They like the pretty-pretty and they sympathise with his fate as though it ere some current complaining victimhood. And let's be clear - he made some paintings that are so bad it is almost unbearable. But he also produced some of the greatest paintings ever made. Picasso for all his productivity also had lots of off-days. But managed the best 2 and most important pictures of the last century.
I worry that my efforts are worthless. I have no way to self-assess. When I see kids at school following a similar procedure peers tend to endorse. In Drama lessons I always demand the do 'Critique,' but they have to be positive, or if they dislike some aspect, they politely suggest ways the actor or group might change and improve. Nonetheless, can I ever count any success in terms in the number of followers, or heart emojis that accrue to any of my posts?
When I have customers come round to buy, I am fascinated by their choices. There are paintings I think are really good and pray they won't be chosen, and some that are lesser in my eyes that I am perfectly happy they are picked. Some collectors do have the eye however. There was a company director who wanted work for his new business foyer and boardroom. He took an age to select, but ended with 5 perfect things.
John Walsh just told me in a lecture from Yale that Picasso only did 2000 paintings and 10,000 drawings, plus prints and sculptures and ceramics. If I look at larger works on canvas, I fall short, but he had a creative life of over 70 years. I need to focus more, even with the horrible possibility that they will all just pile up in my friend's barn. Take this lot - which one should become an oil painting? Perhaps a factory in China and redo the whole sequence?